The Emoji Movie Review: The Abomination of 2017
(Translation into emojis) 😀🎥➡🔎: 💩➡📆
How can one capture the misery of The Emoji Movie?
This is a rare film that makes you feel a sense of existential dread, even though everything you watch is stupid and exists purely for the sake of profit.
While nearly every film exists for the sake of profit, good (or even decent) films can at least offer some entertainment.
An average film at least feels like someone put effort into it. That is not the case with this film.
The Emoji Movie is written by the writers who had a hand in such atrocities as Kronk’s New Grove, Nacho Libre, and Lilo and Stich 2.
Given their history, it is no surprise that this film turned out so poorly.
Every joke is the laziest possible gag anyone could come up with.
And the film’s attempts to seem young and cool come off as an old man trying to interact with tweens even though he hasn’t spoken to a child in decades.
The uses of acronyms made me cringe, but unfortunately there is something far more infuriating about this film.
The Emoji Movie dedicates several scenes to advertising multiple apps.
I was taught how to play Candy Crush, how to win at Just Dance 4, and how to use Spotify.
I found myself laughing as the advertisements became more obvious and ridiculous, before I realized that I had started going insane.
All this is before one considers that (regardless of the brazen and shameless advertisements) the plot of this film is incredibly generic.
It rips off recent animated classics such as Wreck-It Ralph and Inside Out, but it lacks the heart and cleverness of its peers.
The Emoji Movie feels like a lazy child, copying off the cleverer and kinder kids in class.
I started to question why I had entered the theater, what the purpose of this film was, what my purpose is, and why the universe exists at all.
As I said, existential dread.
Don’t see this movie. Let it implode and be forgotten, as it should be.